Facebook memories reminded me that 9 years ago I was in Germany partying in the forest and having no damn care in the world. My biggest problem was deciding what book to read in the miniscule book store with their pathetic English section and which gellato to try next and how to survive work with no sleep because you partied till dawn in heels higher than your standards.
Now I worry about how I’m going to pay my electricity bill and where in going to get the cash to backpay on my car so they don’t repossess it. I sit and wonder where the hell I took a wrong turn. There is nothing like your power being turned off to make you feel like you’re completely failing at being an adult and a parent. But you know? The thing about shit like that is that you realise you ARE a survivor and survivors are dangerous because they are fucking strong.
You know what else? This weekend I realised what an epic kid I have, like seriously. I can’t even start to tell you the things we’ve discussed and how he’s been my biggest cheerleader. If I ever need someone to help me hide a body I know this kid has my back.
No more partying till dawn these days though despite the insomnia I still couldn’t do it. Too peopley out there now. Saturdays sure have changed. They’re now for cuddling my favourite people or on Saturdays like today they are for chocolate covered strawberries delivered by strangers in exchange for a movie, crocheting my book character, plotting pages and sketches and watching hallmark movies all on my own.
She’s cute right? Just needs stockings!