I can’t recommend reading this book enough, it’s fantastic. It really is brilliant. I think this woman speaks directly to my brain, all her books do. I’ve been hooked on her books since Jonathan Ball Publishers sent me the Get Your Shit Together Journal to review (I’ll tell you about that one soon as well cause y’all need it).
What stands out most for me is how she describes what she calls a fuck budget. We all have one, and they are limited. A fuck budget is a lot like your bank account, you have x amount in it and if you spend all of it on random shit then come end of the month you won’t have a fuck to give to that important thing you might actually want to give a fuck about.
Another thing was that she emphasizes the fact that you can learn this Not Sorry method and how to budget your fucks without being an asshole.
You can be an asshat but if you take the time to say please and thank you it’s amazing the difference it makes to others. I’ve always instilled this in Fysh and for the most part he’s really good at it, he has the odd occasion when he needs reminding but even when he’s in a mood and says it with an attitude he at least remembers.
“Look, there’s a long list of things I still give a fuck about (being on time, getting eight hours of sleep, artisanal pizza), and near the top of that list is being polite. Honest, but polite.
For example, if you’re the kind of person who sends a handwritten thank-you note to your friends after you spend the weekend at their lake house, those same friends are unlikely to be offended when you decline their next invitation… to join them at their favorite Renaissance Faire. It’s just common sense. You like lake houses and hate Renaissance Faires? Send a thank-you note; don’t be an asshole. It’s a win-win!”
My love language is gifting, I really enjoy putting that extra touch on a package or sending someone something that I know they would like. It’s why I try arrange giveaways and always add something over and above the illustration a client has ordered. But so many people don’t seem to care about the effort enough to simply say thank you. And it really makes you reconsider your nice-ness. It’s not why I do it, I don’t need the attention, regardless though, it still boggles my mind that people can be so busy that they don’t have that minute free that it takes to thank someone. I’m not saying everyone is like this but it’s something that just bothers me. I shouldn’t assign any of my fucks for something like this but I do.
So maybe, just maybe, next time someone goes that extra mile, or even just an extra cm please take a moment to thank them, whether they are adding your favorite sweets to an order, sending a hand written note or simply opening a door for you. I think it’s something that you really should give a fuck about.