chapter nine

Click on the chapters to read if you are not up to date. Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter…

little fisher boy

Not so long ago we did a styled shoot with Lauren Pretorius Photography, well Fysh did it. He had a…

you are not alone! by Mia

I met Mia at her birthday earlier this year (I think, time is weird to me) via The Person, well…

chapter seven

The days have passed without me realising them. Sure I get up in the mornning and go to bed at…

side effects

There seems to be this stigma that only weak people take medications for mental health (I was told this). Well…

dear two parent families

HOW DO YOU DO IT? I am dead serious, how do you manage splitting yourself between your person and your…

the weekend in review

It’s Monday and I’m sitting here so fucking frustrated today I just want to cry which is dumb. I had…

chapter five

You can read chapter 4 here on Flat White Concepts I drop my bags inside the door and look around,…

collecting STUFF

So I’m supposed to be moving my stuff right now *cough cough* but fuck me sideways there is just so…

sometimes I just want to fit in

There are days when I feel embarrassed to be me. Maybe embarrassed isn’t the right word, I don’t know what word fits. I feel sad to be me? Maybe not that either.

I rely on a handful of medication to help me function as a “normal” person, maybe normal is a bit of a stretch, more like to help me function enough to appear like I fit in. Why? Because I have a personality disorder. I’m litterally a flawed individual. I’m a genetic misfit to the point that despite having a perfectly healthy kid (apparently I have a lot of luck) they still don’t want my eggs because I might produce a child like me. I might produce a child who doesn’t fit in properly or is prone to depression. So no one wants my genetics. Which is sad and hurtful, am I not a person to? Am I such a burden that someone wouldn’t want a kid like me? I think I’m pretty awesome, I have a lot of issues yeah and I deal with a lot on a daily basis but I’m still human, I still feel things. Actually that right there is my problem. I feel too much. Thats kinda the short version of borderline personality disorder; I lack the chemicals that control emotions. I over feel things and become overwhelmed quickly.