Life and all that stuff

I have so many reviews I need to post off amazing products but life has been absolute chaos lately. Some of it good and some of it pretty shitty. 

The the past two months The Person was pickpocketed and had to order two new keys for his Merc and cause even though it’s old it still had those fancy fob keys so a 3 week wait… Yeah okay, we survived. Go in to fetch them and Merc had messed up. Sent two spare keys. No apologies just we’ll have to order them again. Another wait, still no car, and they get the keys wrong AGAIN. Same mistake. Still waiting. 

I’ve had 2 wisdom teeth removed in two months, next month another. And changed up my meds. 

I’ve been busy. Like wake up in the early am and sleep in the early am but even though I’m exhausted I’ll admit it’s pretty nice to get to the end of the month and be able to pay your bills, even if it doesn’t stretch very well throughout the month, particularly not when you have clients like a foreign one I had that despite getting more than a 50% discount blocked me on everything so she doesn’t have to pay which leaves me short for the month and having to take on more work I really shouldn’t cause now I have no spare time and what even are weekends? 

And then to follow that up I had my first appointment with the new specialist and it’s left me feeling like absolute shit. She is was condescending and judgemental. I told her about Charlie and Beastie who of course are my illustrations that mean a lot to me, she made a funny noise and wrote something in my file. She questioned my diagnosis, my meds, everything that took me over ten years to actually accept. Her invisible sign read “I am better than any of the private health care you got” and I left holding back tears. I have to see her again in 6 weeks and I’m going to let her REALLY know how I feel about her and then I’m going to the head sister on duty to request a new specialist as advised by the western Cape government twitter team (who are so fantastically kind and helpful!) 

If you have the option, change who you talk to. You should NEVER feel judged. It’s supposed to be a safe place. For me it’s hard as I’m state bound but I refuse to feel like this again. I can’t. 
The whole experience makes me more confident about speaking out loud. I have some more exciting news I promise to share but I’m feeling drunk and haven’t had any booze and my sneezes make my head explode. 

I hope all you out there know you are fucking amazing. And IT’S OKAY to be you. 

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