I did that thing I said I’d never do

fishingYou know when you’re pregnant and you’re all like “I’ll never do that to my kid” and so on? I broke one of my biggest ever “I’ll nevers”.

I compared my kid to my friends’ kids. *hangs head in shame*

Fysh is 6 now and we’re prepping for grade 1 but my mini is still not reading. Everyone else’s kids are reading at his age and even younger but Fysh is all “reading is boring” which of course for me is sacrilege because BOOKS! I even thought maybe he’s dyslexic or has a learning disability instead and that’s why he’s not up there with everyone else yet. I know he hates school so I figured it’s a legit thought. I even spoke to his teacher about it who assured me he’s good and on par with what the curriculum needs.

I suppose I was going to fuck up at some point. I even cried about it and when he asked me what’s wrong I told him I feel like a bad mom cause he can’t read yet. He was unconcerned about the reading but was adamant that I am not a bad mom and am not allowed to say I’m a bad mom cause it makes him sad as I’m the best mom ever.

So my offspring isn’t as advanced as I am when it comes to reading, he’s not reading before he even starts grade 1 like I did and his friends are doing. I guess that’s just him though and I’ve got to come to terms with it, he has his own pace he’s working at and that’s okay. So long as we keep at it I should stop foreseeing serial killers and issues in his future. *stops watching criminal minds* he’s advanced in other things and areas and I just need to remember that. He has his own special skills.

We’ve agreed that we’re going to do a little practice every day but with made up stories. Really putting my skills to the test now by writing up little books with easy words, so very Dr Seuss of me.

13 comments on “I did that thing I said I’d never do”

  1. What? I am confused? I was not aware that they should be able to read before Grade 1. Mine could not read.
    I think you are too hard on him, and I’ve read that it is not good to force reading when they are not ready. They will read, but without comprehension!

  2. Coral you are having my kind of day I see. Amandalynn started reading when she was 4 years old and now spends most of her time in class doing NOTHING because she can do it already. She is luckily a self starter and can keep herself busy without getting into trouble but then there is my little Lorelai who is only in Grade R next year and all she wants to do is start to read and write at age 5. She started picking up on letter that her sister showed her but I am doing everything in my power to distract her with other things that aren’t reading and writing so that she waits until grade 1 to actually start to learn those skills. She is not the kind of child that will quietly entertain herself when she is done with her work.

    My point is (a) don’t compare your child to other because I have met him, your child has a brilliant mind and even if it does not work like the other children’s, his get concept that they will struggle with for years to come. (b) he is still a kid and let him be child without stress and worries until he needs to have them. wait till grade 1 until you start with reading and writing and clearly he has no interest and as long as he has no developmental problems (according to his teacher he is on par *your words) you should not worry about anything.

    Sorry that my comment turned into an essay.

  3. Please don’t stress about fysh not reading yet. Seriously my daughter is in grade 2 and they are still learning words. My advice would be when you do read him a story. 1 follow where you reading with your finger and 2 take turns reading like you read one page he reads one page. You are not a bad mom. Kids have so much pressure on them to be doing stuff before others. As long as his teacher says he is doing fine and he is. Then don’t stress. Cause kids pick up on that stress. And when he does get to school it will be even more stuff to learn. .write neater. .. do it faster. .. It never ends.

  4. I could not read in gr 1… I mean seriously! and I managed to advance in reading to the point where they ran out of prescribed readers for me, and made me go pick my own books at the library. So basically, don’t stress… boys tend to dislike reading anyway. Just keep reading to him and it’ll all be good :)

  5. This is one of the times where it is almost impossible not to compare your child to others because there are a whole class of them who you can see are already doing x, y and z but actually, this is one of the times that you should never EVER compare your child! Honestly, they all get there in their own good time. It’s quite common for boys to be less interested in reading but one day it will just click, you’ll see x

  6. My son, Logan, will be 7 in a weeks time and is in grade 1 and learning to read now. I also wanted him to be super excited to learn and hoped he would love reading non picture books by now, but unfortunately he has other plans. He enjoys books, but only ones with pictures in. Maybe when he is a bit more confident with reading he will move onto “bigger” books. Hang in there, Fysh sounds like an awesome kid and he will be just fine.

  7. Try not to let it get to you. I only focused on my son’s reading when they started in Gr.1 and it was challenging, but now I can’t believe he can actually read!

  8. I think it’s important that he turned to you and told you that you’re not a bad mom.. That already shows his empathetic development which is really important. Reading is important and can take you on so many adventures but reading also pulls you away from the present and the now and can isolate you from those around you. When I met Fysh yesterday, he gave me the impression of a being-in-the-now kind of child and he is friendly and not very shy… So when he is ready to read, he will… And maybe it will be reading for the now than to travel on an adventure far away from the present. Don’t beat yourself up even if you do make a mistake here and there, I mean, it’s not like you’ve been a mother before and you’re also learning as Fysh learns! You’re a great mom!

    1. Thanks Andi, yeah I’m just new at this whole gig so figuring it out as I go and sometimes thinking WTF am I doing. completely bluffing my way through this parenting thing.

  9. On FB I told you about the program my kid was using but got the name wrong. It is called Reading Eggs. Our school must have a school subscription as we didn’t pay for it, maybe you could mention it to Fysh’s school. I see it is not that cheap to subscribe as an individual. My son absolutely loves it and his reading has progressed quite a bit since starting with it. He kept saying to me that he can’t read and doesn’t think he’ll go to grade 1 but I think he is expecting it to happen overnight, like he can suddenly read tomorrow!

    Like the others said, don’t beat yourself up too much about it, he’ll learn in his own time. You don’t want to stress him out about it either.

    1. Thanks I’ll look into it. He has a few reading apps on the tablet but of course getting him to use them isn’t easy cause minecraft takes priority.

  10. I wouldn’t stress everyone develops at their own pace. If I were you I would focus on the alphabet, that will help (as an ex Gr 1 teacher)

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