fake it till you make it, right?

I feel like such a fake.

This weekend I was a guest speaker at a Schwarzie workshop titled “be a boss, girl” where I spoke about turning your hobby and passion into a business and being your own boss. All hunky dory and swell and what not except that today I sit here crying a little with my stomach in knots cause this month wasn’t banked properly and there are outstanding payments which means I don’t quite cover my debit orders let alone the R1500 eskom bill I got.

So what the fuck do I do now? They don’t teach these things in school. Then again I’ve been in this situation before, fuck I’ve almost had my car repossessed before (not fun) and I’ve had my electricity shut off a few times as well but really, this is the shittiest situation to be in. I need electricity to work and I need work to afford electricity. It’s a really crappy cycle.

I’m in it now but I can change it. If you’re reading this and you have ANYTHING you want designed or illustrated PLEASE send me a mail. I hate being desperate but that’s the joy of not getting maintenance and having to try succeed on your own. I think if it was just me it would be fine cause I don’t mind coffee for breakfast lunch and dinner but the minion isn’t so much into it and prefers real food which means groceries had to be bought which leaves debit orders short. Like I said, kak situation.

That’s my little plea and sob story today. Hopefully I’ll be able to put up a post tomorrow thanking everyone for their awesomeness (wishful thinking I know).

9 thoughts on “fake it till you make it, right?”

  1. Tina Pieterse says:

    Aaah man! Crappy cycle, its like the saying goes- When it rains it pours!!! It will get better! Hang tight even though it doesnt feel like it now. Can I ask you to perhaps load a few of your illustrations to share with all my peeps :)

    1. cupcake says:

      i can definitely do that xxx <3

  2. Chereen says:

    So sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time – but know that it happens to ALL of us from time to time. You are not a fake in the slightest – you are running your own (very successful!) business, a great blog, and you have a gorgeous little boy that you’re single-handedly raising, which is a whole lot more than a lot of us can claim to be doing! Stay strong – and remember that it always works out. As you say, you’ve been here before… and you got yourself out of it. You can do it, mama!

    Please also mail me some of your illustrations (or send me website link for your illustrations) and I’ll pass them around to some of my contacts. I hope things start looking up for you again soon! x

    1. cupcake says:

      Thanks Chereen. Just feeling stuck in a whole without a ladder right now if you know what I mean. Am sure I’ll find a rope or foothold soon though. Or at least I hope I do. There are a few illustrations and work on my other website http://charliefoxtrot.co.za otherwise I mostly just post it on instagram. Will be drawing something specifically to go with this post but not sure what yet.

  3. claudette says:

    Hi there. We have all been there before. I know I have sold stuff just to get by. One thing I can tell you is you can phone people and explain why you can’t pay a full amount a lot of companies are will to make a plan to get there money and two. When you decluttered this weekend did you have a sell pile people buy loads of stuff.you could even sell it on Facebook. I’ve even sold my gold jewellery at cash crusaders. We all have been here. It doesn’t make you anything bad. Just human. Advertise your stuff on all the buy and sell pages on Facebook. Hope it all works out.

    1. cupcake says:

      I have a huge pile of stuff but it’s not stuff to sell, just going to freckle it. maybe I’ll sell my old slings and sleeping bags from back when Fysh was little as they’re all still in perfect condition.

  4. Meg says:

    You’re not alone, sweet one. We all feel this way from time to time.

    I blog about body positivity, for goodness sakes, and I can’t tell you how many mornings I roll out of bed, look in the mirror and think ‘yuck’.

    The thing is, people like you and I, we do have something that sets us apart from everyone else. We don’t give up. We’ve realised that the status quo doesn’t make us happy – whether it’s a dead-end 9 – 5 job, or how we feel about our cellulite – and that’s not good enough for us.

    We want something better for ourselves. Nobody said the journey was going to be easy, but at least we’re trying. How many people can say that?

    Strength and love, bright one. This too shall pass. XXXX

  5. Claire Howse says:

    Being a child of a single mom growing up, my heart goes out to you and I just love how honest this post is. It take courage to speak about it to all of us strangers. The light at the end of the tunnel is that I am all grown up and happy with my successes so far. Your minion will thank you loads and be really successful too, despite what is happening right now.

    1. cupcake says:

      Thank you <3
      Means a lot. He's my biggest worry and bigger joy

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