Dear Bullies…

This post title has been sitting void of words in my drafts folder since September. I keep logging in to actually write it and I think it’s the main reason I stopped posting for so long even though I keeping saying it’s just because of my exams, which do play a role of course because they have limited my already stretched thin “free hours”.

Early in September Fysh came home from the village limping and dirty with a look of sheer determination not to cry, thinly veiled anger and a hint of humiliation.

He didn’t want to tell me what was wrong but it didn’t look like his usual soccer rough housing so I gave him the mom look and he admitted that a brat in the village decided that he was fresh meat and a fun play-thing. He grabbed Fysh by the neck, punched him in the jaw and threw him hard on the ground before kicking him. Trying really hard to not get angry all over again.

There are certain things I’ve been adamant about teaching Fysh even if general parenting is odd to most. He always needs to be polite, he is never forced to hug anyone and the most people snort at “you must never start a fight, but you can finish it”. Well as it turns out he does listen to his mama… he didn’t say anything, he didn’t cry in front of the stupid bully, he didn’t let the kid see how much he was hurting, instead he kicked him square in the nutters and walked away.

Am sure a lot of people will say it’s not the right way to deal with it but it seemed to work. Bully is pissed off and the fact that other people saw Fysh retaliate means he is more so but the brat hasn’t touched anyone in the village since, could also have to do with Fysh telling people his mom is studying to work with serial killers. As it turns out this kid is well known as the village bully but no one can do anything about it because his parents let him get away with anything (like seriously) and you can’t talk to them either (the parents) because they start yelling at you like fish wives and threatening you even if you just tell the kid no for any reason (I haven’t talked to them yet as I said that if the kid does it again I’ll be there knocking on their door and telling them I’m calling social service but one of the other parents told me about the chaos they’ve all had with that family) which is most likely why this kid is like he is, that said. Bullying will never be excused. Ever.

It took Fysh a week to recover and feel “brave” enough to even go back to the village, and M even walked him up cause he was still nervous. I think M actually took the whole event harder than even Fysh as he was a victim of bad physical bullying in school (me, after being physically bullied once when I was little I developed a thick skin and made sure people were too scared of me to bully me and rather just left me alone, apparently I have a resting bitch face that makes people think twice).

He’s okay now if you can ever say anyone is really okay, he’s always been an emotional child but more in a protective and loving sense, now he’s a bit more aggressively protective because he doesn’t want anyone else to have it happen to them and a little easily hurt even if you aren’t reprimanding him just kinda telling him.

My current modules, minus the law module, are all about victim reaction and crime reduction so I’ve been sitting with him and telling him about what I’m learning. Again, probably a weird parenting move but whatever helps my kid feel better.


One comment on “Dear Bullies…”

  1. Thank you for the post! I wish that it wasn’t the case but it looks like violent bullies do only back off when they get some of their own medicine. I’m so glad Fysh could stand up to him and I hope he stays away from all the kids in the village now.

    My 10 year old is a very kind and considerate boy, always trying to be everyone’s friend. He recently became the victim of bullying in the form of name calling and humiliation by a boy in his grade. The toughest thing about it for him was that his former friends from last year, now part of this boy’s “cool club”, did nothing. Luckily once it was brought to the school’s attention they took action straight away and the situation has been resolved. I’ve been trying to help him to learn how to react to similar situations if it had to ever rear it’s ugly head again, but it’s so difficult and I believe that adults shoving kids, even if they’re bullies, heads in toilets might be frowned upon heehee!

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