Last night I was asked for life advice…
Apparently I look like the kind of person who has her shit together, oh boy, I’m not sure if I should take it as a compliment or not though cause man oh man I really do not have it all together. Hardly. I barely feel like an adult never mind having it all together. Sure, I have done much and can list a whole heap of experiences but mostly that’s just cause I can’t hold down a “normal” job due to certain issues, I definitely don’t think that counts to anything more than I have done a lot.
People always say “fake it till you make it” and I think that’s basically what I’ve been doing. My father’s take on that was “baffle them with bullshit”, there was more to that little tidbit but it’s too early in the morning for me to even try and remember the rest of it now. He always said that listening was the best way to get through life, you listen enough to learn what the person is really interested in and if you listen hard enough they will basically give you all the answers to be able to hold a relatively informed conversation, whether or not you are of the same opinion or vocation. And while he is a grumpy old git I’ll admit that it seems to have worked for him over the years so there might be something to it.
While I do feel like the past few months I have finally been slowly getting my shit together I’m definitely not there yet. And I told her this. She just happened to meet me at a stage where I finally feel like a have some confidence and direction. Maybe that’s what she needed? I don’t know, life is weird like that.
But I did give her advice and I’ll share it here just in case it resonates with someone…
Don’t let yourself get in the way of yourself.
It’s what has been my biggest problem and as soon as I started to realize that I am the only person really keeping myself back things started to change, I decided to get that degree and move out of this “comfort zone”, to take a step forward, shake off the round and round, that vicious circle of wishing instead of doing. If you want something bad enough you need to make it happen, my mother is in her 50’s and is planning on teaching in Vietnam when my brother has matriculated, that in itself should prove that you are never too old to change (not that you are old mom). Take that step. Make that move happen.