A day before you turn ten

Tomorrow you turn 10.
Double digits.
A decade.

It feels like last year that I was writing finals and packing my bags for Germany. The biggest worry back then was where we were going to play pool on Friday.

People say you get used to it but there are times I wonder who you are and why you’re in my house and most of all what the hell you are talking about. This part happens pretty often because dude you can talk…

It’s really hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’m a mom, your mom. that I’m responsible for you. I can’t even keep a basil plant alive longer than a season and yet here we are, ten years in.

We’ve survived a lot you and me, but we have also celebrated so much. We’ve lost people and gained better ones, we’ve had arguments and laughing fits. We’ve climbed mountains (literally) and set up camp on our own. You are a mini version of myself so often and man that is so frustrating! I am glad that we have M as a buffer!

Homeschooling has been great but also hell on so many occasions. Sometimes I just want to ship you off to a boarding school, even with M’s help but then the house would be too quiet and I wouldn’t get daily hugs from you. I know that it’s hard but know that I will always do what’s best for you, this means that if you decide you want to go to a normal school, we’ll make it happen somehow.

You are amazing, please don’t ever forget that. Stay the sensitive soul you are, the one who cares and has manners, the one who thinks about others. Stay funny, stay weird, harness that sarcasm and never give up what you believe in.

With tomorrow bringing us to a decade of this mom/son thing I vow to try my absolute best to be a more attentive mom. To try stop and pay more direct attention to you and not let things slip through the cracks that build up and blow up. I promise to try my best to be more of what you need. And I promise to help you hide bodies (so long as you don’t do it in public) cause moms got your back yo.

I am so glad I didn’t give you up for adoption ;)

Until next time